Sometimes I hear your words echo in the back of my mind and I believe them for everything they’re worth. Whether you said it because you were hurt or to try and hurt me is beyond the point. I hear you yell them at me as if in the very moment they were released into the world. I fight them off with every ounce of proof to deny your inquisition, but then the doubt seeps into my mind and my heart aches at the thought that you could very well be right. I am afraid. Afraid to feel the way you made me feel so many times before, afraid to admit that I care much more than I lead on. And then nothing. Nothing happens, my pulse calms and its as if I’m asleep by the shore line and the water, warm, gently nibbles at my toes and the sound of the water kissing the rocks by the shore is sweet instead of vengeful. Redemption. We have surpassed a storm that cannot honestly be called so as we merely floated through some heavy rain over what can hardly be called waves. The volume of your echoing words die down to a whisper and I feel safe again, safe enough that is. Sadly so, it is only until the next time. I feel… like admitting how I feel would only make the monster real so instead, I shy away from all the things I ought to feel and replace them with blind fear. We are sailing over unsure waters where the wind whispers doubts into my ears, I daresay I prefer they’d whisper truths from my soul to yours.
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